'like' is informal. Use 'such as' instead. 3.1 repetition of 'were', 'problems', Use a greater range of vocabulary: satisfied is used too many times. H&F are the manufacturer;therefore the 5 day working week is not relevant. In conclusion you mention three problems but talk about four. You cannot copy your competitor. Overall, you need to use a much greater range of vocabulary.
1. Introduction
In view of the drop of our market share of our product, we invited M&D Market Research Company to complete a survey about the performance of our MP3 players and the data were collected for analysis. In the following, we are going to discuss the survey and find out the corresponding solutions to improve our performance. First, several serious problems will be discussed and the cause and implications of each of them will be evaluated. Finally, corresponding solutions will be provided.
2. Procedure
Data for this report were gathered in February, 2011. The topic of Satisfaction with H&F and iGADGET MP3 players were researched online, and then a questionnaire was designed to collect users opinions. 200 H&F MP3 users and iGADGET MP3 users were sent the questionnaires. For the market shares, data from a chain of some large stores, like Fortress, Broadway were collected.
3. Findings
3.1 Introduction / Overview
There were six areas of our products were investigated. Area of design, functions and headphone quality are problems while sound quality, battery life and overall satisfaction are not problems. Due to the above problems, the market share of our products was lower than one-third of iGADGET.
3.2 Design
Nearly half of H&F MP3 users were satisfied while around nine out of ten iGADGET users were satisfied. One reason for this low satisfaction rate is because only two colors with large size of our model were available in the market. The implications for this is the customers demand more choices.
3.3 Functions
Slightly above one-third of our MP3 users were satisfied while about two-third of the iGADGET users were satisfied. This might be because the inconvenience in the transfer of music from computers to H&F MP3. A result of this is that our products are not user-friendly when compared to iGADGET.
3.4 Headphone quality
Only one-third of our MP3 users were satisfied with our headphone quality. It appears that our headphones are made in Malaysia and the quality control is not good enough. This can lead to poor brand reputation.
3.5 Market share
There is a gradual trend of decrease in the market share of our MP3 from March 2010 to February 2011. Most importantly, our market share were far below with our competitor, iGADGET. In additions to the above problems, it is evident that our spokesperson is too old to promote our MP3 to the teenagers and our shops were only opened five days a week. The effect of this might be we cannot open our new market to teenagers.
4. Conclusion
The findings clearly show that our MP3 players perform poorly in design, functions and headphone quality and needed to be improved in order to increase the market share. Improvement in these four areas are necessary for our product.To improve our performance and increase the sales volume, the following recommendations can be adopted.
5. Recommendations
Given the problems that we have highlighted, we would like to make the following recommendations.
5.1 Design
In view of the low satisfaction that our MP3 player received regarding our design, we suggest that we should provide more color choices with smaller size to our customers.
5.2 Functions
In the light of the function problem, we recommend we should change the way of music transfer, just directly copy from iGADGET.
5.3 Headphone quality
In the light of the fact that our headphones quality is not up to our customer expectations, we propose to strengthen the quality control of our production site in Malaysia.
5.4 Market share
As we have solved the above problems, our market share will improve and we can also change the spokesperson to Leon Chan and lengthen the opening period of our shops.
'like' is informal. Use 'such as' instead.
3.1 repetition of 'were', 'problems',
Use a greater range of vocabulary: satisfied is used too many times.
H&F are the manufacturer;therefore the 5 day working week is not relevant.
In conclusion you mention three problems but talk about four.
You cannot copy your competitor.
Overall, you need to use a much greater range of vocabulary.
1. Introduction
In view of the drop of our market share of our product, we invited M&D Market Research Company to complete a survey about the performance of our MP3 players and the data were collected for analysis. In the following, we are going to discuss the survey and find out the corresponding solutions to improve our performance. First, several serious problems will be discussed and the cause and implications of each of them will be evaluated. Finally, corresponding solutions will be provided.
2. Procedure
Data for this report were gathered in February, 2011. The topic of Satisfaction with H&F and iGADGET MP3 players were researched online, and then a questionnaire was designed to collect users opinions. 200 H&F MP3 users and iGADGET MP3 users were sent the questionnaires. For the market shares, data from a chain of some large stores, like Fortress, Broadway were collected.
3. Findings
3.1 Introduction / Overview
There were six areas of our products were investigated. Area of design, functions and headphone quality are problems while sound quality, battery life and overall satisfaction are not problems. Due to the above problems, the market share of our products was lower than one-third of iGADGET.
3.2 Design
Nearly half of H&F MP3 users were satisfied while around nine out of ten iGADGET users were satisfied. One reason for this low satisfaction rate is because only two colors with large size of our model were available in the market. The implications for this is the customers demand more choices.
3.3 Functions
Slightly above one-third of our MP3 users were satisfied while about two-third of the iGADGET users were satisfied. This might be because the inconvenience in the transfer of music from computers to H&F MP3. A result of this is that our products are not user-friendly when compared to iGADGET.
3.4 Headphone quality
Only one-third of our MP3 users were satisfied with our headphone quality. It appears that our headphones are made in Malaysia and the quality control is not good enough. This can lead to poor brand reputation.
3.5 Market share
There is a gradual trend of decrease in the market share of our MP3 from March 2010 to February 2011. Most importantly, our market share were far below with our competitor, iGADGET. In additions to the above problems, it is evident that our spokesperson is too old to promote our MP3 to the teenagers and our shops were only opened five days a week. The effect of this might be we cannot open our new market to teenagers.
4. Conclusion
The findings clearly show that our MP3 players perform poorly in design, functions and headphone quality and needed to be improved in order to increase the market share. Improvement in these four areas are necessary for our product.To improve our performance and increase the sales volume, the following recommendations can be adopted.
5. Recommendations
Given the problems that we have highlighted, we would like to make the following recommendations.
5.1 Design
In view of the low satisfaction that our MP3 player received regarding our design, we suggest that we should provide more color choices with smaller size to our customers.
5.2 Functions
In the light of the function problem, we recommend we should change the way of music transfer, just directly copy from iGADGET.
5.3 Headphone quality
In the light of the fact that our headphones quality is not up to our customer expectations, we propose to strengthen the quality control of our production site in Malaysia.
5.4 Market share
As we have solved the above problems, our market share will improve and we can also change the spokesperson to Leon Chan and lengthen the opening period of our shops.